Yesterday's Kiss Read online

  Yesterday’s Kiss

  by

  Carly Fall

  © 2013 Westward Publishing

  All Rights Reserved

  Smashwords Edition

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Dedication

  I would like to dedicate this book to the wonderful people of Bisbee, Arizona. Thank you for letting tourists take a glimpse into the magnificent history your amazing little town hold, and for being so damn friendly.

  We can't wait to go back!

  Chapter 1

  “Your divorce is final.”

  Maggie Ramos let out a long sigh of relief as she put the pen down on the glass tabletop. She stared at the divorce decree in front of her, where her and her ex-husband’s signatures were scribbled across the bottom.

  It had been a long year getting the details of the divorce finalized, but today, her five-year marriage was over. She glanced across the table at Jerry, who was staring daggers at her.

  Whatever. He had gotten what he deserved.

  As he had told her many times, he was a highly regarded plastic surgeon in the Phoenix valley, and he had a reputation to uphold. Maggie figured he didn’t want anyone to know what a conniving, self-centered, egotistical bastard he was, or the fact that he had cheated on his wife.

  He’d just bought Maggie’s silence for a sum in the low six figures, but it wasn’t like she had tried to milk him for a chunk of change.

  Before the marriage—before he had finished school and opened his practice—Jerry Letters had been a different person: kind, happy, and caring. They met on a Saturday evening six years ago. He had come into the restaurant where she worked and ordered caramel pie and coffee. As he paid the bill, he asked her out. He was handsome, with a sweet smile and a gentle demeanor. When they first began dating, he would tell her how much he loved her dark-brown hair, her high cheekbones, and he was always grabbing her ample butt. He often commented on her intelligence, and they would spend hours politically sparring, her a moderate-conservative and he a liberal. Eventually, they agreed to disagree, and even with the hot political climate on both sides, they found peace with each other and settled into a domestic political truce.

  They dated for a year, then married. Maggie was fresh out of college, though her BA in history proved futile in getting a job. So, while Jerry was in school, she continued to work as a waitress, and she also took up a part-time librarian job to support them. It had been a difficult time, but she had been content to help Jerry reach his goals, and they were happy together.

  Three years into their marriage, he opened his practice. At first, business was slow, but word had spread about the new doctor in town. Within a year, the practice was flourishing, and he insisted she quit her jobs and “get a real one.” That should have been Maggie’s first clue of Jerry’s emerging controlling nature. At first, she was insulted—while he was busy pursuing his dreams, she was waiting on cranky patrons who wanted fresh refills of coffee. She gladly gave up the waitressing job, but she kept her part-time job at the library. She loved books, especially history books. The past fascinated her, and she read everything she could get her hands on.

  It didn’t matter what era—she loved reading about the ancient Greeks and Romans, the Wild West of the 1800s, and early Chinese culture. She had a secret girl crush on Cleopatra because she had been beautiful and so strong. She didn’t care if it was fiction or non-fiction, as long as the book was set in the past, she was happy.

  “Are you satisfied?” Jerry said through clenched teeth, bringing her thoughts back to the present.

  Wincing, she stared at him. At age thirty-seven, his dark hair was starting to gray at the temples, giving him a George-Clooney-type look. His green gaze tore into her, and she had to smile at his smooth forehead. It looked as if someone recently had a round of Botox. She shuddered. Just over two years ago she thought about starting a family with this jerk. She had thought that perhaps a child would bring peace into their marriage. How foolish she had been. Although she longed for a child, she was grateful they’d never been able to conceive. The divorce would be a clean break, neither having anything to do with the other from now on. It made her sad, as she used to believe that marriage was forever. On the other hand, there was only so much a woman could take from her husband before she let her dignity and pride slip away.

  As far as she was concerned, her dignity and pride were being held together by bubblegum and string, but it was stronger than it had been a year ago. She wanted to believe in the institution of marriage, but Jerry had really dashed those beliefs with the way he had treated her and how much he had changed. Her once-loving husband had turned into a self-centered, pompous ass who was more concerned about how people looked than what they held inside them.

  “Yes, I am satisfied, Jerry,” Maggie said sweetly, trying to ignore the pangs of longing for “what could have been.” When she had married Jerry, she was certain that their marriage was one that would last. The changes in him had been remarkable.

  Jerry stood up so fast his chair almost toppled over. “If we’re done here, I’m leaving. I can’t stand to be in her presence.”

  “We’re done,” Jerry’s lawyer said. He stood up and smoothed his gray pinstriped suit.

  Maggie watched them leave and decided to wait a few minutes so she wouldn’t meet Jerry in the parking garage.

  “You can wait here for a bit if you want,” her lawyer, Gina, said, as if she’d read Maggie’s mind. Maggie smiled. Gina was in her fifties, with short, dark hair and smart, blue eyes. She’d been Maggie’s rock throughout the divorce and had convinced Maggie to get some money out of the deal. As she put it, Maggie had carried the financial load in the marriage while Jerry was getting his medical degree, and Maggie might was well get a little something for her trouble.

  “Thanks. I think I will wait here for a few minutes.”

  “No worries. I do have a phone appointment, though, so I’ll be in my office.”

  Maggie nodded, and Gina left the conference room. Her thoughts returned to Jerry.

  About a year after Jerry opened the practice, she noticed a slight shift in him. He began working later, he seemed preoccupied, and he came home tense. When they were dirt poor and he was going to medical school, he had always gently teased her about her weight, but once the practice began to thrive, the gentle teasing morphed into rude comments. She definitely wasn’t obese, but at five foot three and one hundred forty pounds, she had some extra padding and some curves. He made it clear he didn’t approve of them anymore. Or maybe, he never approved of them. Maybe her willingness to support them financially while he finished school was all he cared about. She didn’t know, but she had to believe that he wouldn’t be so crass as to use her that way. She had to believe that at some point in their past he had loved her.

  And thus began her spiral to lose weight for her husband. She dieted, joined a gym, and eventually lost a few pounds—ten, to be exact.

  It wasn’t enough.

  One time, Jerry had said that she should go to his office so he could “suck the dimples out of her fat ass.” She just laughed it off, but she never actually considered it. Going under the knife wasn’t something she ever wanted to do, and besides, she didn’t have that many dimples—just a lot of padding—and she kind of liked her curves.

  The berating continued, and so did her dieting. After a few months, she wondered if she wasn’t supposed to be skinny. Maybe her body makeup was what it was. No matter how long she dieted and how many aerobic classes she went to, she couldn’t seem to los
e any more weight. She’d always been on the heavy side through most of her life, even as a child. Growing up, she had longed to be stick-thin like some of her friends, and her weight caused her great insecurity during her high school years. Once she was out in the working world, she became a little more secure with her looks. Marrying Jerry had only increased that security, until he started his tirades over her weight. She wanted to be what he desired, to make him happy, and she failed.

  As Jerry put it, he worked hard to build perfection in his office every single day, and having a less-than-perfect wife at home wasn’t good for his image. He also told her that she needed to expand her horizons beyond reading books and try to get involved in new things, such as possibly taking an art class or working to become more friendly with some of his peers’ wives. She found them shallow, as they discussed fashion, celebrities and make-up, but Maggie gave it her best shot.

  As Jerry began to bring in more and more money, they attended many more parties and charity functions. Maggie often found herself alone while Jerry mingled with other guests discussing art or culture or the latest technological tool used for surgery. She found them all boring, and Jerry said he found her to be an embarrassment when she did open her mouth to try to contribute to the conversation.

  Maggie continued to diet, but with little results. Her self-esteem continued its downward spiral, even if the scale didn’t.

  She started to undress in the closet so he wouldn’t see her naked, and during sex she always made sure the lights were off and she was under the blankets. Not that there was a lot of sex going on. Jerry had made it pretty clear that he didn’t find her attractive any more, and sex was simply something they were supposed to do as married people. It was unsatisfying and robotic. They simply went through the motions.

  She felt numb and tried not to think about what her life had become and what she was doing in the name of pleasing her husband. At her core, she loved him and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. As the scales movement remained stagnant and Jerry seemed more and more displeased with her in general, thoughts of Jerry leaving her or cheating on her began take hold, and she desperately tried harder to lose weight and pay more attention to what was going on in politics and culture on a local level.

  One night, Jerry had come home late and immediately jumped in the shower. His phone rang, and Maggie looked to see who was calling. Someone named Katrina. Maggie pushed the button to send the call to voicemail, but accidently pushed the camera button. An image of a vagina filled the screen.

  As tears filled her eyes, she took the liberty of scrolling through the rest of his pictures, as well as his texts, her hands shaking uncontrollably. Apparently, he was sending pictures of his cock to someone as well.

  After a blowout fight, Jerry finally admitted he’d been having an affair with a patient, the wife of a local politician. Between the two years of verbal abuse and the infidelity, Maggie snapped—she was done.

  At first, she had just wanted out of the marriage, but Gina convinced her that Jerry had to be squeezed. It made the divorce proceedings longer, but in the end, Maggie had to admit she enjoyed seeing Jerry hand over such a large sum of money, plus five years of alimony payments.

  Maggie shook her head and looked at the clock on the conference room wall. She’d been sitting here for about ten minutes. That should have given Jerry plenty of time to get to the parking garage and leave.

  She stood, said good-bye to the receptionist, and took the elevator down to the parking garage. Her heels clicked on the concrete as she walked to her car, and she dug through her purse for her keys. When she looked up, Jerry was leaning against her red Acura RLX.

  A tingle of fear went through her, but Maggie refused to back down. “What do you want?” she asked firmly.

  He looked at her for a moment, then said, “I want you to know that you are a dumb cow. I want you to know that I hate you with every fiber in my body, and I hope I never have to lay eyes on you again.”

  She gasped, her stomach coiled and tears stung her eyes, but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of watching them fall.

  “The feeling is mutual, Jerry,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Now get off my car so I can drive away and get on with my life.”

  He smirked, crossed his arms over his chest, then stepped away without another word.

  As she drove out of the parking garage, she tried not to let the words sting so badly, but the tears fell anyway. Jerry was a jerk who had cheated on her, and if she played her investments right and didn’t spend the money like crazy, she would be financially comfortable for the rest of her life.

  Maggie took a deep breath to calm herself. As she tapped the brake in the freeway traffic, she told herself it was time to forget the past. She was not the cow or pig or any of the other awful names Jerry had called her. She was not stupid, nor was she boring. She would not be pushed around or belittled by anyone ever again. She was Maggie Ramos, and she was going to put the past behind her and focus on her shiny, new future. The possibilities for what the rest of her life held were endless, and she smiled as her belly fluttered with excitement. She cranked up the radio and sang at the top of her lungs.

  Chapter 2

  “What do you mean you have the flu, Nichole?” Maggie cradled the phone on her shoulder as she tossed a shirt into her suitcase. “We’re supposed to leave today!”

  “I know,” Nichole said. “But I can’t even get out of bed.”

  Disappointment coursed through Maggie and she sat down on the green bedspread. “Really?”

  “Yes, Maggie. I’m really sick. I’m sorry, but I can’t go.”

  “Okay, I hope you feel better,” she said and disconnected the call. “Damn,” she whispered.

  A few weeks ago, she’d convinced her friend Nichole to take a few days and explore southern Arizona. They had plans to hit Tombstone, home of the Gunfight of the O.K. Corral and Wyatt Earp’s grave. They were also going to spend some time in Bisbee, a booming mining town in the early 1900s, and now home to many artists. She’d never been to either place, but had read about them extensively. It was almost as if she were being pulled down to southern Arizona, like she needed to take this trip.

  All the reservations were non-refundable. Not that she had spent a fortune on hotels, but money was money, and she hated to see it go to waste. She headed to the kitchen and called the online site she had booked everything through, planning to beg for a refund, or maybe even a credit so they could go later when Nichole was feeling better. While on hold, she looked around her condo. She had moved in just over a year ago, right after she’d decided to divorce Jerry.

  Done in creams and tans, it was a comfortable place. She liked that it overlooked a small garden, especially at this time of year. The fall roses were blooming, and the red, pink, and white flowers were amazing.

  While on hold, she made a cup of coffee with her Keurig. She sipped the vanilla-hazelnut brew, letting the warmth settle her. Jerry’s belittling words from yesterday still rang in her mind. With that and Nichole being sick, she just needed to calm down a little.

  Fifteen minutes later, she hung up the phone and sat down at her small kitchen table. Running her hand over the light-colored wood, frustration welled within her. The reservations were non-refundable and non-transferrable. In essence, she was screwed.

  She had been looking forward to the trip and experiencing the history Tombstone and Bisbee had to offer. She had taken three days off at the library as well, and getting time off wasn’t always easy.

  Maggie sighed. It was the perfect time of year to travel in Arizona—it wasn’t too hot, nor was it chilly. The temperature hung in the upper seventies, perfect weather for being outside. She was going to lose her money on the reservations, and who knew when she would be able to get time off again?

  Tears welled in her eyes. When Gina had called a couple of weeks ago and said Jerry had accepted their terms of the divorce, she decided to use the trip as a celebration.

&
nbsp; She really, really wanted to go. Jerry had never wanted to explore the United States, always preferring trips to resorts in Mexico, Tahiti, or the Caribbean. He never understood her fascination with history, but preferred the trappings of modern-day luxury. He always said history belonged right where it was: in the past.

  God, he was such a jerk.

  Picking up her phone, she scrolled through her contacts. Julie was nice, but Maggie couldn’t imagine spending four hours in a car with her. Most of her other friends had full-time jobs and kids. After a few minutes, she pushed the phone across the table and put her head in her hands.

  What if she just went by herself?

  At first, she scoffed at the idea of traveling alone, but the more she thought about it, the more she warmed up to it. Her car only had ten thousand miles on it, so it was in good shape. She doubted it would break down, so she didn’t have to worry about being stranded on the side of the road out in the middle of the desert. What else did she have to worry about?

  Nothing she could think of.

  She had nothing to lose. After a year of living by herself, Maggie was used to spending time alone. Sure, it would be more fun with a friend, but why not take the journey by herself?

  A spark of excitement quickly grew, replacing the frustration and disappointment. Yes, why not? She was starting over, and the “old Maggie” would never have considered taking a trip on her own. However, she wasn’t the “old Maggie” any longer; she was the new and improved thirty-two-year-old Maggie who was going to do exactly what she wanted, when she wanted to do it.

  Smiling at her decision, Maggie hurried to her bedroom and threw some more clothes into her suitcase. It was an adventure, and she was going to have fun and enjoy it.

  Chapter 3

  Maggie drove the two-lane highway lined with cacti, dirt, and sagebrush, feeling excited. The road was much busier than she thought, and her worries of being alone on a desolate, deserted highway in the middle of the Arizona desert had been unfounded.